It’s the craziest thing the other day i was doing my walk/jog around the lake and i watched as a guy on a bike put up a hand signal and then veered over into the next lane. Then Yesterday i was walking to a friend’s dorm and on my way a man stood next to a large box truck and was motioning with his hand for the truck to keep backing up then he made a fist and that told the truck driver to stop so he wouldn’t hit anything. I know this sounds a little “duh” but here me out seeing those two different events made me realize something. Often especially kids in my generation really don’t have a clue what hand traffic signals are or how you read or communicate them, and in the example of the truck instead of a fist i would have made a “halt sign.” This made me realize that how often in the college life, in the business world, or in the church do we send out signals expecting everyone to know what we are talking about or trying to communicate? Sometimes we get very aggressive and angry when we are trying to communicate and someone doesn’t understand and other times we are arrogant and expect everyone to understand. This is the dilemma of a leader. As a leader (in what ever area of life you are in you can become a leader) it is vital and extremely important to learn to communicate what you are trying to say in a way that everyone will understand! side note this can be applied to the ministry: example sometimes going door to door will upset some people and bring a wonderful conversation with others. Sometimes tipping your waitress well is more important than leaving a track. Maybe buying the homeless man lunch is more effective than giving him 5 dollars and no conversation. Not hating on anyone and like i said “sometimes” meaning each situation can be different of course with the exception of some that are obvious. i’m just trying to get your juices going and make you and i think how as leaders we can become better communicators in life and in the ministry. The biggest things to remember are these:1.) motive of your heart 2.) What are you trying to convey or express 3.) Are you forcing something or being fake OR are you being natural and real 4.) Observe response and take in criticism and evaluate that criticism 5). All reactions and responses aside did you convey your message honestly and to the best of your ability? 6.) Now go back and see how you can improve, be willing to adjust to create understanding, (however never compromise your values or God’s commands) and be understanding and flexible. 7.) Learn more than one way to say something. it’s has to do with Communication but Love is everything!
Archive for January, 2008
Finding beauty in the lasagna
Life is so beautiful many movies have used the line “God is a painter” a clever thought but God is so far beyond a painter. God is The CREATOR how awesome. Since God created everything it is awesome to sometimes just sit back and admire creation and life itself. How beautiful a life really is. God breathed life into each and every one of us.Now that i hopefully painted a decent picture of what i’m trying to say follow me on this beautiful story called “lasagna.”It had been six months the only time we had seen each-other was at church and a few times i had seen her around town. Not a word was spoken for 6 months. Pains, Scars, words, fights, all tainted what was once an awesome relationship but more importantly an awesome friendship. 6 months passed and i followed her wishes of not speaking to her actually her request was “i don’t want my name to come out of your mouth again” she had told me “i will talk to you when i want to (when i’m ready)” six months had passed and i sat and just was chilling at my house when i received a text that simply said ”my grandmother is making lasagna if you are interested” she text me after six months and the first real sentence other than a “hey” while passing me by in church was about “lasagna” the one thing that had always been the conversation around great occasions at her house. In her mind our friendship was never lost or forgotten only put on hold and all the bitterness and anger i felt was gone and all her frustration and possibly “hatred” had dissipated and all that remained that we had in common the one thing that would be the only possible tool of reconciliation was “lasagna.” I know it sounds weird or possibly even crazy but do you see the beauty behind my story? lasagna was used as a tool by God to reconcile and fix a broken friendship. Why now? why did it take 6 months? why does she want to even talk to me?i don’t know but i know that for some reason God fixed what was broken. He’s kinda in that sort of business as cliche’ as that sounds lol. Don’t misunderstand me i mean that statement and emphasize it full heartedly that no matter what you’ve done or what relationships have been broken God is the restorer of all things and is known for his grace and mercy! If God can fix 6 months of broken friendship with lasagna how much more can he fix a broken heart or a wandering soul? Turn to God accept Christ’s sacrifice on the cross! Be made new and whole. and write your story find the beauty in your “plate of lasagna.”
apply the criticism
There are times when we are wrong and correction is necessary. There is a biblical proverb about accepting correction and i believe it is necessary to not only accept it but actually correct it. Recently i had the opportunity to give an old tv away instead i offered to sell it to my friend. My mom quickly explained that i would give it to him and not sell it to him, i became angry and got in a fight with my mom and family over it. The next day my dad asked me to get some stuff together so he could run by the house and pick it up, instead i unplugged it but left it where it was. My dad came home and got upset that i didn’t put it all together for him so he could grab it and go. My reaction was selfish and only added to my dad’s frustration that day (he had a tough day at work). Instead of doing what he asked i only half accomplished the task.I learned that if i say i wanna help people then it starts with the little things. Giving an a tv away is simple yet i fought it and when i was corrected i didn’t respond well! On top of all this one of my best friends explained how some remarks i had been making were hurting her and others. my first reaction was defensive then i really listened to what she was saying.After my dad left i washed the dishes so he wouldn’t have any other reason to get more upset and as i washed them i realized how foolish i had been acting! Correction is hard to handle and it often is easy to get upset and defensive but like QBQ (question behind the question) talks about, it is vital that we take responsibility for our actions. Once you take responsibility then you need to learn to listen, listen to how you can fix what it is you are doing, lastly apply it. after you make changes to a computer program you are given the option button “apply” and it is only when you choose to apply that change occurs!Listen, evaluate, admit wrong doing and apologize, change your settings “APPLY”
2008 Focus
Happy New Year! I have taken a long break from the blog world but tonight i feel i’m ready to return fresh and be open and continue to let all of you follow me on my journey of growing.Everyone who knows me knows that i just recently got a 2008 focus.What i love bout this is that its like God just wanted me drive around in a spoken word a reminder that life is about focus. don’t loose focus on what’s important!My New years resolution is to “Work Hard” or as Rob and Big put it “Do Work Son” I wanna work hard at school, work hard at relationships (friendships) and at a relationship if God’s got some one lined up for me (i have no idea if he does lol) work hard at finding a job during the semester and the summer then working hard at that job, work hard at spending time with God. I wanna do my best and work Hard so that i can give God something to WORK with. So happy new years and i encourage you to make a new years resolution as cliche’ as it sounds and actually do it!Welcome 2008 let’s do work son! OH and one last quick tip: when you are dropping it like its hot on new years eve just joking around and you rip your pants on the way down! best advice just tell everyone even though they didn’t notice the reaction is worth a lot of memmories and will outweigh your embarrassment but will not replace your pants lol
